Coincidence? I think not.

I’m the kind of person who looks for meaning behind coincidences, no matter how stupid or insignificant they may be. Sometimes I even obsessively read into it like it’s some English Lit novel. It goes beyond typical zodiac post that I come across on Twitter and Tumblr (shameless plugs cough cough); this is real life I’m talking about. I’m not sure what started this nor do I understand exactly why I do it. My theory is that this is just my way of trying to understand my clusterf*** of a life a little better. It’s like one of those ‘connect the dots’ puzzles I used to do when I was younger: one dot always leads to another and voila! There’s the full picture. In that moment, it all becomes blindingly clear, and you then think to yourself, “OOHHH MY GOD, of course! How did I not see that coming?” Kind of like real life foreshadowing, you know?

The problem with the clusterf*** ‘connect the dots’ puzzle that is real life, however, is that there are way too many dots and not enough of them are numbered. I have no hints—the dots don’t even look like dots. The more I struggle to make connections, the less sense anything makes. I usually end up with my lines in a tangle and my mind a pile of rotting mush from trying to make sense of something that probably can’t be fully understood. But I do it, anyway, because somehow . . . maybe there is a meaning to it all. I’m convinced that there’s a meaning to it all. Like my pinned tweet, for example:

screen-shot-2016-09-24-at-21-27-09

Two things you should know about me. Number one, I’ve always wanted to be an author. I don’t know if I want to be the best-selling kind or one that’s moderately known one or a ‘one-hit wonder’ (whatever its writerly counterpart may be), but what I do know is that this is how I want to leave my mark in this world. Number two, I am deathly afraid of the future. The future’s a surprise—and I hate surprises. I hate not knowing what’s coming or how I’m going to end up later in life and I’m scared. I’m scared to the point where I just freeze. All the functioning—my mind, mostly—in me stops working. So I distract myself, keep myself busy, to stop that from happening.

I’ve had my future read before. It wasn’t anything specific or serious, though. A friend of mine reads tarot cards and she offered to read mine. Or did I volunteer? I don’t remember. I don’t remember how the reading went or which cards I drew. I don’t fully understand how tarot reading works, either. I only remember drawing one card for this specific reading: the magician, upright (if it was reversed, it would have an entirely new meaning). I don’t recall exactly what my friend said, but it was something alone the lines of ‘the best card’ and ‘your future’s going to be great!’

According to the TarotWikipedia, this what The Magician means:

“Realising your potential.
Believing in yourself.
Using your talents.
Being in charge of your own destiny.
Being able to sell yourself, sell your ideas and sell a product.
Using old skills in a new field
Re-inventing yourself.”

I still think about that moment, even if I don’t fully remember it.

The tweet above could be nothing but mere coincidence, but based on what I like to think that the future has something good planned for me. I know it might be completely bonkers of me to think this way—I’ve thought that thought more than my fingers can count—but what if, just maybe, it was more than just a coincidence?

There’s more where that came from:

  • The word ‘box’ is an inside joke between my friends and I. It’s a bit of a long story—I promise to tell it one of these days—but because of this, a lot of my personality revolves around that word. It was one of my many nicknames, all my usernames had that word incorporated into it. Fast forward a few years later, I subscribed to Grace Helbig, one of my favourite YouTubers of all time., Her original screen name was ‘GracieHInABox’. My online screen name, before I changed it to just my name, used to be ‘anyathebox’ (though, in some cases like my Tumblr, it’s still that).
  • My old manager’s surname is Box. She’s one of the loveliest people I’ve ever met in my life.
  • I go to Bath Spa University, but I nearly accepted an offer from my second choice, University of Gloucestershire. Two of my friends from university have had this same predicament.
  • I have a friend from school—let’s call them A. And I have a friend from my university, B. B has a friend from college, I think, C (creative names, I know). I found out a couple of months after I became friends with B, that A and C go to the same university and are also friends with each other.
  • I created a character for this story I was writing at the time. A few months later, I made a friend who had the exact same characteristics, physical and all.
  • Lin-Manuel Miranda and I are both Slytherins. I’m sure there are other celebrities  that are also fellow Slytherins, but this is Lin I’m talking about. I f***ing love Lin.

There are many more that have already slipped my mind. Others I deliberately left out because it’s too personal. But you get the gist. My mum used to say “do your best and God will do the rest.” I’m not that religious anymore, but I think that phrase has some merit to it. With a lot of hard work and prayer and praise (if you’re devout, that is) and possibly a pinch of luck, anything could happen. I can be supremely lazy at times, but when I have my mind set on something, you best believe that I’ll see it through to the very end—and I won’t stop until I’m completely satisfied. I may not know what this all means—could be something, could be nothing—but I guess I’m going to have to stick around to find out.

If you’ve made this far into my post, then thank you for reading! Do you think coincidences are just that or are they some kind of hints about your future? Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Until next time,
Dev.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. MJ Cobra says:

    Ever since I was little, I have been enamored with fortune telling of any kind.

    My mom’s and my friend did a tarot card reading for me in high school, and I thought at that point I would have grown out of it. I got the magician card as my final one, a power card of some sort, and my friend said to incorporate infinity signs in my art, as it had a lot of power and was good for me. I don’t think I got as much out of it as I would now, but I also remember drawing the devil card twice. I’d like to write a post about it as well sometime. You inspire me.

    Anywho, you picked a favorite topic of mine, and it’s wonderful to see someone believing in life as more than coincidences! I love the points about your nickname being Box, as well as the tarot card reading. I definitely see writing in your blood, and it’s really just up to you to do it. ☺

    I believe with tarot card reading, fortune telling, horoscopes, and the other good stuff isn’t where the power is. You don’t have to shield a deck of tarot cards from harm in case of destroying their magic. The magic is in the therapy and dot connecting it helps you do.

    People complain about zodiac readings being vague and suited for the general person’s day, and I don’t necessarily disagree. You can either throw it away, or take what it presented and think about it.

    Any readings are helpful, because it settles a storm in the mind and helps make what’s going on clearer. But the cards and words don’t show the answer (reason why I did not get as much out of my HS freshman reading). It’s an answer that has to be worked for. It’s like reading a complex piece of literature. The author gives you all the clues in and between the lines, but ultimately you can piece it together differently from the next person, and both people can be right. I think the dot connecting is as very much a part of the journey than just the answer itself.

    Okay, this comment is all over the place, because I’m writinf on my phone and trying to summarize all my thoughts, or otherwise I’ll end up with a sister blog post down here. 😆 I love this post, and I look forward to the continuations in the future!

    Also, if I wrote “tarot carrot” reading anywhere, I must have missed it on my phone’s tiny screen. I’m pretty sure I corrected it all though. 😰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dev. says:

      Fuck me this was ages ago, I’m so bad with replying comments, sorry 😅 omg that’s so cool! I honestly didn’t think anyone else thought of these things like I did because they seem a bit random and sometimes might not even make sense, you know? But I’m so glad you do, too!

      I’m thinking of making a follow up post about reading signs in every day life. Like little every day things that may not seem like much but to me it’s like foreshadowing to the future or something. Because I’ve seen a lot of signs and idk what it all means.

      And thank you so much for calling me inspiring, it means a lot! You’re the first person to ever tell me that and I just grinned like an idiot for a long time when I read it 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. MJ Cobra says:

        Hahaha, that’s okay! Like I said, I love this topic (wrote my English final last year all about coincidences and whatnot), so I had a lot to babble about. 😂

        Ooh, that sounds like a great follow-up! Hopefully you get time between life’s responsiblities and uni to write it.

        Aw, I’m happy to make you smile. 😄

        Liked by 1 person

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